In My Arms
by wikelia
Summary: Trigger warning for torture mention and rape mention. "You stroked my hair when I was beaten up, you held me just like this after they threw me around, and…and you told me you loved me when they…when they…"
1. Chapter 1

"I'm going to kill them," Snotlout growled, "I'm going to take them in my bare hands and murder them."

His eyes blazed as he spoke, and Astrid wanted so badly to grab her axe and say she'd join him, but with Hiccup so badly hurt, she had to be some kind of voice of reason.

"No." She put her hand on his shoulder. "Don't do that. Get some rest, okay? I'll stay with him."

Snotlout glared at her for half a second, before his shoulders sagged and he nodded lightly. "Yeah. Okay. Don't leave his side, though, Astrid. Please."

After months of being without him, was she supposed to argue? Did he not think that she didn't consider this a chore, she considered it a gift to take care of Hiccup after everything he had been through. And Astrid wanted to say that, wanted to scream it at him. Scream that she loved Hiccup Haddock and it would take an army of dragons to tear her away from him once she started.

But instead, she nodded tightly. "I won't, Snotlout, go to bed."

And when he did, she turned around and stepped into Hiccup's hut. For a millisecond, Toothless growled threateningly, but when he saw her he simply cooed and pressed his snout into her hand. Hiccup was awake, watching her with a smile as though he couldn't believe she was real.

"Hey, babe." Astrid sat down on his bed, running a hand through his hair. Hiccup's chest was bare, with a white cloth wrapped around his torso. At least he was on his side and she couldn't see his back. What she had seen earlier had terrified her. "Guess who's sleeping over tonight?"

Hiccup smiled widely, leaning up just a bit to try and kiss her. She met him halfway, molding their lips together and sliding her arms around his neck.

It was then Astrid realized he had been tense, and relaxed considerable once her arms were around him. And that was just his neck. Maybe -

"Hiccup," she mumbled into his lips. When he continued to kiss her, almost desperately, she pulled back and let him lean back before holding him in her arms properly.

Hiccup let out a long content sigh, nuzzling into her side. She could feel the scars on his back - from whips, she assumed - and her heart beat a little faster. He was here. He was home. Hiccup was safe in her arms.

He looked up at her, smiling lightly, but she could tell he was sleepy, his eyes were drooping ever so slightly. "Astrid, you...you're so much better than them." As he spoke, he began to sound more and more like he was struggling to speak.

"You were what I thought of," he choked out, tears now dripping down his cheeks, "every time they beat me, o-or decided to have…f-fun with me…" Hiccup looked down in shame, but she simply held him closer and kissed his forehead.

He took a deep breath. "Every time, I just thought of you. I thought of what you would do if you were next to me, and I always heard your voice telling me to get up. Not to let them win.

"It's only fun if you get a scar out of it, right, Astrid?"

"No," she murmured, and when her voice cracked she realized she was crying too, "it's not fun. It's so not fun, I was an idiot when I said that."

Because it certainly wasn't fun when she had seen him again. It wasn't fun when Ruff had to stop her from collapsing. It wasn't fun when she was throwing up at the thoughts of what they did to her dragon boy.

Not fun at all.

"Don't call yourself an idiot, you're amazing." He kissed her collarbone, not able to reach much else from his position. "You got me through it. Gods, Astrid, I would have died if not for you." Hiccup blinked rapidly, but she kissed his tears off his cheeks, letting him know she was fine with them. "You stroked my hair when I was beaten up, you held me just like this after they threw me around, and…" Here he really seemed to break. "And you told me you loved me when they…when they…"

Raped you, Astrid thought, but she didn't say it.

"And I know you can't love me after that, a-and I'm okay with it, because -"

"I love you," Astrid said so fiercely Hiccup shivered. She had to tell him what she couldn't tell Snotlout. "I think you're the one. I love you. Every scar, every bruise, every memory. All of it. I love you so much."

Hiccup's breathing seemed to quicken, his grip tightening on her and burying his face in her chest. "I don't think I can say anything better than that, b-but...I love you too. So much."

"I know."

"I love you, Astrid," he mumbled again, pressing into her shoulder. He was going to doze off. Astrid quietly hummed and stroked his hair. She really hadn't needed to think twice about staying the whole night with him. He needed her her, she was there. What promised more than love?


	2. Chapter 2

**Too many people wanted a Part 2 for this. Here you go.**

When Hiccup woke up without anyone shouting in his ear, or grabbing him roughly, or being hungry and dry, his first thought was to be alarmed at the difference. But then he realized how good he felt right there.

A puff of breath hit his cheek, and he looked up to see Astrid, her head lolling forward,= and her arms still around him. They had both fallen asleep in a sitting position, but she was an excellent pillow.

Hiccup was afraid to move.

He didn't want to disturb the moment. For the first time in forever, he felt comfortable and Astrid's arms were so soothing. She had taken off her shoulder pads and her skirt, so there wasn't even anything to hurt him. Astrid was being fragile. For him. Hel if he was going to disturb it.

He observed her quietly. Her blonde locks were still in a braid, but a very loose, messy one, with a lot of it falling down her shoulders and on his nose. Her hair was the sweetest thing he had ever smelled.

How could someone look so perfect, so safe, so caring while they were a mess?

Because there was no denying she was a mess. Yesterday, he could see the bags under her eyes, and even though she had not lost even close to how much weight he had lost, there was no doubt Astrid looked skinnier. Her clothes were dusty, and she looked pale.

Hiccup snorted quietly. Who was he to call someone else a mess? He hadn't seen his back, but if everyone's reaction was anything to go by, he didn't want to see it.

Toothless made a small whine in his sleep, and Hiccup shifted his eyes to his best friend. He hoped he had been taken care of, but it was ridiculous to think otherwise. The gang loved Toothless as much as he did. Well, maybe a little less, but still a lot.

He didn't notice Astrid waking up until she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Good morning, babe."

"Good morning," he murmured, realizing how drowsy and scratchy his voice sounded, unlike her beautiful melodic sound.

"I like sleeping here," Astrid admitted quietly, a lovely smile on her face as she kissed his lips for a second and moved up to his cheeks, nose, and forehead. "Any nightmares?"

Hiccup shook his head as she tightened her arms around him securely and he snuggled in. "I thought I would, but...you being here calmed me down, I think. Can you stay?" he asked shyly.

Immediately, dark thoughts filled his head, screaming at him harshly. Of course she couldn't stay. She had better things to do than look after his pathetic self. He was too much to deal with, he should be left out to rot, kicked into submission, beaten, abused -

"As if I wanted to be anywhere else," Astrid murmured, stroking his cheek.

Those few words left him a little breathless, and his head spun in a good way. She had no idea how what she said would affect him, but he would treasure it. He buried his face in her neck and let himself go, relaxing because his kidnappers were wrong and Astrid was right. And if she said she wanted to be with him, then he would forget anything his abusers had said otherwise.

Astrid kissed the top of his head. "But I do have to get us breakfast, okay?"

He pressed into her shoulder with a whimper, shaking his head frantically. "No, please, Ast, don't go."

The horrible thoughts were coming within a minute of being gone.

"Hey, hey, I'm coming right back, okay?" His girlfriend kissed his cheek a few times and brushed his hair from his forehead. "I'm just going to get us both some food, and then I'm going to hold you in my arms and give you whatever you want."

It was too late. Hiccup yanked out of her arms and dived towards the bucket next to his bed, throwing up anything they had given him last night. He felt awful, but at the same time, relieved, as if spilling his stomach would take the memories away too.

In an instant, Astrid was by his side, rubbing light circles on his back and whispering reassuring words. They helped speed up the process.

By the end, Hiccup felt sweat on his forehead, sinking into Astrid and taking a shuddery breath. One of her hands went to his hair to stroke it - oh so wonderfully - and the other held him closer to herself.

"I'm sorry."

"No apologizing." He heard her voice tremble.

"Y-you can get breakfast." His own voice was shaky. "I'll be right here."

"I'll just find Fishlegs and ask him to get some for us. I'm not the best cook anyway, he won't mind." Her soft lips pressed to his temple, and suddenly Hiccup was even more drowsy. Her voice was so silky and soothing that he wanted to just pass out right then and there.

Hiccup knew he would be okay. The way she was holding him told him just as much. Here, in her arms, he was safe.


End file.
